Forgive me...forgive me not...

Forgiveness. Complicated word. Easier said than done. I, personally, do not know how to forgive. I admit it. I readily admit to it, actually. I am a sensitive being when it comes to my feelings. If someone hurts those feelings, then I can't forgive them for those actions. I have never been able to understand why someone would harm another - whether directly or indirectly. I believe in compassion and selflessness. I believe that we do not live in this world alone and need to act accordingly. So, it really baffles me when people act selfish and lack compassion. This is why I can not forgive. Because to harm someone is to be selfish. To not consider the other person's feelings... And I am not in the position to teach another about selflessness - you should be taught that as a child. It needs to be instilled in your morals, your values. Now, why doesn't it happen? More often than not, I witness the abhorrent behavior of selfishness... I won't call myself a victim - that empowers the wrongdoer... But I will call myself a survivor. I go past all the harm that has been done to me...but I can not forgive it. Forgiveness is about understanding. Not to say that I have never forgiven someone... Communication has allowed me to do so. This doesn't mean that my defensive wall has come down - it just means that I have allowed a door to be opened. I am not a harsh woman - I have a huge heart (which is good and bad, of course) so I can not fully rule out forgiveness... I just don't know how to do it so easily...

Struggles

So, it is undeniable that life has it's struggles. The cliches are all there: ins & outs, ups & downs, etc. There is no handbook or reference manual on how to handle them, though. We can't turn to page 254 and find our answer. I wish I could do that. Really, I do. Would have saved myself a ton of grief & aggravation throughout the years. But that's too Utopian. Instead, we go with the flow, we wing it, we fly by the seat of our pants. What else can we do? We seek advice. We think. We process. We react. That's all we can really do, right?

Every struggle is a true test of character. And my character grows with each trial and tribulation. I learn as a person, I grow as a woman, I mature as a human. And I love every minute of it. It is an amazing experience living this crazy thing called life.

My Chinese Astrology

You are born under the sign of the Dragon and your element is Fire

At first sight, your personality is outstanding: in situations where other people would prefer the security and the tranquillity of a life devoid of risk, you choose challenges, even though there is some degree of uncertainty and latent conflicts.

You do not pay much attention to your life's limitations, therefore, you may be unrealistic and you do not hesitate to fully express your intentions and ambitions. Of course, the danger is that you think big, too big. You may attempt to conquer a chimera and show an excessive idealism.

Nevertheless, your energy is attractive and your infectious enthusiasm can overcome many a hurdle. As we all know, faith can move mountains! It seems difficult to stand up to you because you determination is very strong and your will, inflexible. There is a propensity to think little of other people's opinion but it is important that you control this natural tendency...

On the interpersonal plane, you often seek attention and you want to play a central role. You willingly give pieces of advice and instructions but you may forget to show diplomacy. Your prevailing strength of character can take you a long way. You brush aside obstacles, one after the other and better than anyone else, you reach your aims and you achieve exceptional success. Actually, wrongly or rightly, you can imagine your destiny only with brilliant and spectacular colours, in a word... grandiose!

Chinese astrology has five elements, which are referred to as agents: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal and Water.

You have a deep affinity with the agent Fire. In China, this element corresponds to the planet Mars, the red colour and the number 7.

Fire implies dynamism and contagious warmth. You are a passionate person who gives a touch of intensity and unrelenting tension to every element of your life. One can only praise your energy and notice your presence. .

You belong to the category of people who never give up when they are facing hurdles. On the contrary, challenges stimulate you. You are particularly exhilarated whenever a new element emerges or when you are dealing with an unprecedented context.

Obviously, the danger is that you may rush headlong against a wall of insurmountable difficulties and act impulsively or thoughtlessly. It is important that you moderate your natural impetuosity as often as possible. Beware of untimely fits of anger!

However, your undeniable frankness prevails and your straightforward and honest character appeals to a good many interlocutors.

What would the Wizard give you?

So, the Wizard of Oz gave Scarecrow, a brain; the Tin Man ,a heart; the Lion, courage... So I was thinking... What would the Wizard give me? I have a brain, I have a heart, I have courage, I have patience, I'm home... Hhhmmm...

What would the Wizard give you?

Sexual Attraction

Well, now, isn't that a title to draw you in...?

So, you're out and about. Someone walks past you... What is it that makes you follow them with your eyes? Their scent? The way they walk? The clothes they're wearing? The smile they gave you when they caught your eye? The twinkle in their eye when you caught their gaze?The way they throw their head back and laugh when talking with their friends? The aura that surrounds them as the enter into your world for that moment in time?

What draws you in? At what point do your hormones take over? Do you start pay attention to what your loins are telling you?

It makes you bite your bottom lip, wink, smile... It gives you the courage to strike up a conversation to see where it leads... You hope it leads to a bedroom... But do you also hope that it leads to another phone call after that bedroom visit...? Sexual attraction is powerful. It motivates you. It causes you to do things you don't normally do on a daily basis. You don't brush your teeth in a sexual manner...but you do other things in sexual ways, do you not?

The nature of sexual attraction intrigues me. I always question what motivates someone in their sexual desire towards someone else... What attracts you? You are the beholder - what do you consider beauty?

Have you ever even thought about it yourself?